Dear Stranger, Thanks.

After rediscovering my long lost blog from two years ago, I suddenly have a new thirst to share my experiences with my remaining followers. Thank you for being loyal, some of you barley even remember that we were even friends on the blogosphere, but thanks anyway. I was trying to write a paper for an assignment, a product of the pursuit of greater knowledge... and I just couldn't get the juices flowing. Am hoping that this visit to my blog will help.

So last time I made some candid confessions and true revelations about the place in which I now find myself, stark right in the middle of a rock and a hard place, both of which remain mostly static. So in the words that only a Kenyan can understand "mimi nina ng'ang'ana". The struggle continues. The loong sleepless nights and even longer trying days are here with me like an annoying mosquito that will not go away. To say that I have felt the hand of Murphy's Law in the past couple of days and weeks, is to say the least... But "na Ng'ang'ana"

I guess for the sake of some semblance of sanity, I am glad for this little blog of mine, for sometimes you cannot say it enough how difficult and trying life is. People just don't get it. Yesterday, as I collapsed into a fit of emotion after a particularly trying fitting, I was walking to the bus stop wiping away the tears from my face and trying to contain myself when some stranger coming towards me asked me if everything was all right. Today, I dedicate this post to the kind strangers out there who take the time to be concerned for others they barely know (even at the risk of being ignored). I wasn't able to respond at the time, but dear stranger on the street, thank you for showing me kindness while the world seemed to be showing me a different face.

I guess all is not lost, in those moments when your present circumstances drive you up the wall, may be some stranger will show you kindness, even for one second, and it will give you the strength to face the future. Amen.

BUMPY AND GRUMPY

It's certainly been a while since I have visited this blog. During the course of my two year hiatus from blogging I have hit extremely high highs and terribly low lows, and may be even after quantifying everything, the lows have far outweighed the highs. In hindsight, I must say that it was nice to earn a salary albeit small and short lived. Now I am back to my hustling ways, and maaaeen have I hustled!

I am  a fashion designer, pursuing a full time master course in product design at the University of Nairobi ans struggling to keep my business running alongside. To say that it is hell on earth for me right now would be a gross understatement. Tears have been shed bitterly over my decision to return to the grey and gloomy aisles of "ADD". Is you are a UON alumni, then you know what I mean. I certainly dreamed of a much brighter masters career, in a country abroad where there were actually facilities to support my pursuit.

At the University of Nairobi, Fashion Design is a very small department and Product Design is even smaller. An average of four out of over forty students usually specialize in Product Design at the Undergraduate Level, an average of two specialize in fashion design. The two departments should be heavily mechanised at the very least, but all we had was a run down kiln to fire ceramics and one or two machines for fashion. Students are rarely exposed to the relevant software for fashion design or even product design.

In short there's little incentive for specializing in the two fields, and the career prospects in Kenya are even dimmer. Fashion designers are often overworked and underpaid, if they are paid at all. This has been my experience. I honestly feel like I was shortchanged in a way, like I drew the very very short end of the stick as I struggle to make ends meet every single day. I work harder than anyone I know, sleeping four hours a night and working through every single hour of the day. This coupled with undertaking a masters in a Course that I was coersed to take, is killing me softly...

I know this all sounds very defeatist, but this is my reality. I am depressed and frustrated and terribly overwhelmed by all the work on my plate. Maybe some years later I will look back and smile, and say Thank God that season of my life has passed, but looking back, this has been the order of the day for as long as I can remember. I don't even know how to be positive about it all, there's soomuch more between the lines that I just could not capture in this post. May be these unpleasant memories are better undocumented, I should not even remember that I have been through them, but I guess my human nature has overpowered my professional one, thus the truth is wringing its way out of me.

I pray God that the next time I update this blog, there shall be some laughs and smiles and future prospects, but for now, I am a gloomy young lady on the road to GOD KNOWS WHERE>>>.